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What is Codependency?

A recovering codependent and son of alcoholic speaks about his experiences as a child and how they affected his life since. He grew up learning how to take care of his mother from a young age. When his parents divorced him and his brothers went to live with their father. By the age of 13 his father bought him a car and he was given the task of looking after his younger brothers. This became a common factor in his searching for girlfriends; he sought out girls he could help and so build his self-worth.

The codependency gave him thoughts such as if he worked harder then he would receive more love. He went into relationships hoping they would make him feel full and complete inside through giving money helping his girlfriend excessively. All this caused him to break and he realized he had problems with setting healthy boundaries and saying no to those around him.

A counselor recommended going to Al-anon meetings and Codependency Anonymous; at his first meeting he describes the feeling of the speaker telling his story; a deep connection. Now he takes time for himself and has a desire of healthy relationships with healthy boundaries.

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