I know I am thinking too much when it’s hard for me to feel
Farris wheels are spinning so fast that the memories become so real

I’m in the fight of my life, don’t worry I got you covered like a shield
This is my mind as it talks and plays games like deal or no deal

I want to know my pain and joy but to know this I have to feel
It’s like trying to open up an envelope to get the prize without breaking the seal

I’m fastened and tied, part of me has died
Maybe it was the love withheld or maybe just the lies
If I hold on to my past, I can’t be in the present moment
Family can feel so divided like a dividend with no quotient

Now it’s time to be, by being me the truth shall set one free
I’ve been blind to feel the pain so now I’m taking of the mask to see

Instead of a fragmented plate, I place the remnants in a bowl
For what others have not loved, I shall love to make my being whole.

This reminds me of an Aerosmith song that stuck in my head. Someone asked me to write about the past and letting go of it, so here is what I have to say. These are my perceptions and my truths only.   Letting go of the past is like swimming in the ocean trying to get to shore being attached to a buoy. The past IS gone.  But if it is gone, why is it still here?  It cannot be changed and it cannot be rewritten. The time and energy that is spent on wishing it was different can keep one stuck in it. Resistance to the past just brings and feeds more of that same energy to it. You want to let go of the past? Then don’t resist it. Embrace it. Accept that it happened. Hey, I may go as far as to say it was supposed to happen. It was meant to be for you to learn something or experience something from that.  Look deeper to see the whole picture of why it happened and how you have changed from it, not only for the worse, but for the bette ... Read More »

   The word alone manifests an expectation. Out comes…? Out comes a baby. Out comes laughter. Out comes anger. Out comes an expectation of something I am hoping for. This simple word has never looked and felt as daunting as now. What is even more shackling is the feeling that I am attached to it. We can all tend to get attached to outcomes. I think it is a part of human behavior to enter into a situation with an outcome in mind. We act out of our own interest. We are creative beings who fantasize what an outcome will be or what it looks like. How something will play out. When doing this, I am not in the moment, in the journey or enjoying either one. I am only in the future and in agenda of what I think the outcome should be. Ah, there are the two words that should never be….SHOULD BE. How many times have you thought of what or how something should be and, in turn, have been extremely disappointed? Should be ... Read More »

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king''s horses and all the king''s men Couldn''t put Humpty together again.   I have heard this nursery rhyme since I was a little kid, but I now have a different and more optimistic viewpoint…     “Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.” But if he did not have this great fall,  he would have not broken into pieces. Maybe Humpty wanted to experience the feeling of being whole. The only way he could do this was to break. How can we even know what wholeness or balance or feeling good feels like if we do not know the polarity? When I would hear the nursery rhyme, I would always feel bad for him. In present time, looking at the nursery rhyme, I feel excitement in Humpty’s journey! What an incredible opportunity and experience he had. He fell and broke into pieces so he could see himself as parts of a whole. “All the king ... Read More »

      This couple had a favorite spot to camp together while spending a few nights under the stars. Year after year, they went back to this very spot for their anniversary. They always sat by this one tree that was fairly small when they first started going. Every year they set up camp under its shaded branches while it grew bigger and taller. They watched it grow from a small infant tree into a flourishing, vivacious living entity. They always commented how much taller the tree has become and how large it was becoming. They thought "wow, that''''s a huge tree, magnificent!"  Returning to their favorite spot by the tree one year, they noticed that part of the tree had been hollowed out and it wasn’t looking as healthy. The next year they returned, they saw the branches had wilted some more and there had been carvings of names and letters in its bark. They now perceived this tree as being somewhat hollow, imperfect and scarred.  The ... Read More »

   A very nice, intelligent yet baffled person was complaining to me the other day that they do not have the job they want. They are waiting for it and working toward it, but it is not there. They told me they don’t understand why this is happening. They have asked the universe, imagined it in their mind, and worked hard to attain what they wanted. They were telling me their parents always expected them to do a certain job, be married, by 27, their significant other has feelings about how they should be living their life, and how responsible this person felt for managing how she handles all of them individually.  I realized something very important. It was something possibly life changing for them and for me. It took me right back to a dream I had the night before. I was life coaching my father. This was strange because he would have never agreed to life coaching and I was saying some pretty challenging things to him. Something that stuck out to me was w ... Read More »

   Change is something that is always happening with you, outside of you, around you and most importantly, inside of you.  Change is the one of the only things that is constant.  Since the beginning of time, we as human beings have always adapted to the changing conditions around us.  Seasons, food supply, environment, weather, battles etc…   This is an amazing example of Darwinism at its finest.  Our ability to evolve, grow and yes, change.

   What has been interesting is that we see and notice changes all around us.  Gas prices, someone else’s mood, how different some one looks, what another has done with their make-up, hair, clothes etc…    What may be overlooked are the changes happening with in ourselves.  You are changing every minute of every day.  Look back 6 months ago.  Do you see any growth from the way you might handle a situation?  The way that you deal with someone in your fam ... Read More »

In high school, I gauged myself by comparing to others wondering “am I… as smart as everyone in my class?”  “Am I… as tall as that guy, as mean as that one, as vibrant and energetic as she is?  The list went on as the search continued to define myself.

The am I question, in and of itself, is a really dangerous one.  It can make your day as sunny as you have ever noticed it to be, or as dark as a stormy Seattle afternoon.  It almost seems as if the statement itself begs for permission. 

Have you ever asked another or yourself, am I ______?

The most common widespread question that I hear as a life coach is an underlying question of self…Am I enough?

So many times in my life, I have not felt that I am enough.  Even more, I couldn’t even tell you what enough was.  I had an idea, “oh if only this happened, then I would feel good enough.”  Th ... Read More »