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Dating Inside the Rooms of AA

 

Dating in the rooms of AAOne of the rules for being in the AA program is to not get involved in any relationships during the first year of your sobriety.  And it is suggested that you not date anyone you have met in the rooms of AA.  To say this can be a difficult rule to follow is an understatement.

I am currently 19 years-old; I have been in treatment for about 9 months.  I guess you can call me a “player” or any other term you would prefer.  Beginning in high school, all I cared about was girls.  I would be talking to girls every day, and if there were any cute girls in my class, I would make up excuses to sit next to them and talk to them.  It worked every time. Every time there was a cute girl anywhere, I would always try to start a conversation no matter wherever and when it was.

Throughout high school and college I was with many different girls.  In my current place of treatment, I have been permitted to talk to and have relationships.  I was previously in a halfway house in Washington and got kicked out for having sex with a girl.  We were not allowed to have any relationships or talk to any girls at that facility.  Now I am in a facility in which I have a lot of freedom, and we are allowed to be in relationships.  Once I found that out, I started talking to all my girlfriends from back home and continue to do so.

But the reason why I am writing about this is because now that I am in recovery, I often question whether talking to—if not courting—multiple girls at the same time is a form of addict behavior?  I did it before and during my use, and now find myself still doing it.  Sometimes, I find myself wondering if it is a bad thing to do.  Not talking to girls is to defy my natural instincts at this point.

However, being a “player” inside the rooms of AA can have a very bad outcome.  If you are messing around with multiple girls at once inside the program, you are not just hurting yourself – you are hurting each and every one of those girls.  When the girls find out that you are seeing other girls, it can really hurt them.  It can also have a detrimental effect on quests for sobriety and recovery.  It is an all around bad situation to be in.  I hope I never get me into a situation like this because I know girls and relationships and have come to take my sobriety very seriously.

Being in recovery and knowing how rough it has been to get to the place I am at now, I realize that I cannot continue engaging in this kind of behavior.  I am willing to do anything at any time to help anyone I can remain sober, because alcoholismis a terrible disease that can destroy lives at will.  And if I bring this behavior into the rooms of AA, it can affect not only me but other people trying to achieve recovery.


By Frankie D.

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Filed under: Recovery · Tags: AA, AA relationships, abstinence, addict behavior, Addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, college, dating, dating in the rooms, girls, halfway house, high school, inside the rooms of AA, player, Recovery, relationships, sex, sex relationships, sexual relationships, sober living, sobriety, Treatment