Applying Lip Balm – Trendy or Sign of Addiction?

Rehab for lip balm…? A fellowship of…addicts who can’t stay away from Cherry Chapstick? I can’t figure out whether or not half the websites on Lip Balm Addiction have been created in jest or if they have an element of seriouness to them. For example, iVillage, a popular multifaceted website with the latest buzz, has a quiz for readers to assess whether or not they should consider themselves “officially” addicted to lip balm. The ways in which the questions are phrased make me wonder if it’s a widespread joke, and I’m just being too thick-headed to catch on. “#2, In terms of lip balm artillery, you own…. a) One or two b) One tube for the office, one for your bedroom, one for your purse, one for your boyfriend’s apartment, one with SPF for vacations, one with flavor for when you’re hungry, and the list goes on…”
So-called experts on lip balm addiction respond to a reader’s complaint of feeling pain and loss after day 2 of going “cold turkey” from lib balm application with explanations for why the sufferer is jonesing for more. Mr. Expert responds, “Among the reasons for lip balm addiction are the psychological feelings one gets when you start your ritual of covering the lips. For some, trading lip balm for lip gloss or lipstick equates to someone addicted to drinking beer switching to wine. At the same time, lipstick especially will form a barrier between your lips and the elements. So, you definitely need to be careful to keep your use within appropriate limits.” The expert goes on to refer to days not using lipstick equivalent to “sober days.” If I keep my lip balm in my purse all day, am I en route to this expert’s definition of sobriety? Apparently so.
I was even more surprised to find www.lipbalmanonymous.com. This website includes a page dedicated to a listing of the 12 steps or 12 traditions originating from alcohol & drug fellowships. Step 1 says, “We admitted to ourselves that we were powerless over lip balm, that our lives had become unmanageable…” Hidden in between insinuations of sarcasm and farce, there was one disclaimer I pinpointed on the website. A small blurb of text at the bottom of the home page reads, “Lip balm Anonymous supports those members of other 12-step programs and no harm or slight is intended by this page.” I find that to be a weak effort at boosting the credibility of the page and deterring drug addicts and alcoholics from taking offense to its message.
Then again, there’s evidence in sheer numbers. Google “lip balm addiction” and the number of relevant hits will surprise you. Networks such as CBS have aired specials on the addiction, Countless Facebook groups are dedicated to the “crackstick” per each popular brand such as Blistex and Burt’s Beeswax, and renowned newspapers like The Washington Post have printed articles on the subject. In an article dated Sunday, December 14, 2008, author Julia Feldmeier goes so farso far as to recommend steps to sobriety. She suggests using petroleum-based rather than wax-based products, avoiding licking one’s lips, minimizing sun exposure, and to think about whether its the product or the behavior.
Overall, I think it’s a crock. If lip gloss is an addiction, what else is next? But that’s just my opinion!