Codependents Anonymous

With an estimated 1200 groups all over the United States and in forty countries worldwide, Codependent Anonymous (CoDa) helps millions of individuals form functional and healthy relationships.  Established in 1986, in Phoenix, Arizona, Codependent anonymous utilizes a twelve step program, a text entitled Co-Dependents Anonymous, and a thirty-eight item evaluation to determine how codependent an individual is.

Codependency often stems from a dysfunctional family life. Children or family members of an alcoholic, addict, or unhealthy individual sometimes develop an extreme sensitivity to the individual’s needs. Codependents typically do not have a grasp on handling and forming functional relationships.

Like other twelve step programs, CoDa is rooted in spirituality, and individuals attend meetings to learn how to from healthy relationships. The Preamble of Co-Dependency Anonymous states,

“Co-Dependents Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships. The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships. We gather together to support and share with each other in a journey of self-discovery -- learning to love the self. Living the program allows each of us to become increasingly honest with ourselves about our personal histories and our own codependent behaviors.

We rely upon the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions for knowledge and wisdom. These are the principles of our program and guides to developing honest and fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others. In CoDA, we each learn to build a bridge to a Higher Power of our own understanding, and we allow others the same privilege. This renewal process is a gift of healing for us. By actively working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, we can each realize a new joy, acceptance and serenity in our lives.”

CoDa members give suggestions to new comers, and help them discover a higher power (a god) within themselves to turn their self-will over too. 

What are the symptoms and patterns of codependent behavior?

Characteristics of Denial

• Trouble recognizing feelings
• Minimizing, varying or denying feelings
• Viewing oneself as totally selfless and committed to the wellness of other individuals

Minimal Self Esteem

• Trouble making choices
• Considering one as never "good enough."
• Ashamed when the recipient of appreciation or honor
• Treasuring others' approval of one’s thinking, feelings and behavior
• Considers self unlovable or not a worthwhile person

Patterns of Submissive Behavior

• Compromising own values and morals to evade alienation or others' anger
• Incredibly sensitive to other’s feelings
• Loyal to a fault, and stay in detrimental situations
• Engage in sex when love is desired

Control Patterns

• People are need to be taken care of
• Telling individuals what they are feeling or thinking
• Give individuals suggestions without permission
• Bestow presents and favors on preferred individuals
• Sex is used to secure esteem and acknowledgment