i feel pretty similer....im only 18 but ive been using pretty heavily scince i was about 12 .....mostly pot but when i got into high school the drugs got harder and heavier......thats why i think its gonna be so hard to give up smoking buds after using it for so long...i coulnt imagine not drinking on my 21st birthday .....not getting drunk on the 4th of july out on the boat.....i even think about trying crazy drugs i havent ever done when i get out of rehab.....not taking that fatty binger rip when i get home.....ill fight it as hard as i can ...i try and cram the thought in the back of my head and do the dishes or go skate or do somthin but damn that little addict devil on my shoulder.....im not so much addicted to one drug besides the ganja but im just addicted to getting faded any way possible i dont have a drug of choice just what ever i can get my hands on ...wich i fear is worse because my options are so wide......im just scared to get back in the real world with all of its fruits of tempations......i havent really found a higher power besides mother earth ...i dont do the steps and i dont have a sponser....a couple of days till im a month clean