On Thursday, November 1st Florida police picked up a woman after reports came in that she was masturbating in a Starbucks Coffee joint. The cops took her into custody after they found a crack pipe in her purse.
Apparently Jennifer Piranian was wigging out while she was waiting for her coffee because she was extremely high on crack cocaine. “No one could ever say for sure what she was doing, and I’m pretty sure the video didn’t show anything definitive. But here hands went into her pants while she was wigging out. We got called by someone who said she was masturbating. She was very high on crack with her hands going everywhere.” police spokesman Joshua Cramer told reporters.
When confronted by police, Ms. Piranian informed officers that she wasn’t doing well. She told them that she was dropped off at the coffee shop by some friends. She was on the way to the hospital to get checked out for a “spider bite” she thought she had.
The officers offered to give her a ride to the hospital and she consented. Before they gave her a ride, they asked if they could search her purse. After consenting to the search they found a “glass stem” pipe inside the bag and it tested positive for cocaine residue.
Piranian was arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia and taken to jail.
This is not the first case of public masturbation reported. Public masturbation gained notoriety after Paul Rueben aka “Pee-Wee Herman” was busted for the act in an adult theater in 1991. This incident is a reminder of the un-manageability that comes with active drug use.
Dillon, Nancy. “Woman High, Masturbating in Starbucks.” New York Daily News. N.p., 3 Nov. 2012. Web. 13 Dec. 2012.