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The Importance of Honesty


Honesty is one of the indispensable principles in a successful program of sobriety. Even more than that, it is essential in order to live a happy and free life. It can be hard to be honest, especially about things that are uncomfortable or have unpleasant consequences. But by being honest, I have found that I get to be accountable and grow into a better person. Of course, it is important to be aware of what you share and with whom, and to build relationships on a foundation of trust. Without honesty, it is easy to find yourself trapped in a web of lies that keeps a person in isolation and unhappiness.

As with most people, the biggest characterization of my active addiction was through dishonesty. I would lie to my friends, my family, and myself, because it was easier than facing the truth in the short run. In order to support my habits and disguise my awful behavior, I would out and out lie and then rationalize it, or lie by omission.

However, as I found myself thrown into a program that is based on rigorous honesty, I came to face a fork in the road: I could either continue being dishonest, or get real and face whatever came my way.

The first step in this process was being honest with myself and acknowledging who I am and the actions I was taking. That was by far the most difficult step thus far in my recovery. Who wants to admit their darkest moments? It was through sharing these things that I had so long fought to conceal that I found relief and built lasting friendships. It is important to realize that, despite how difficult honesty can be, there are gifts that come with every shared secret and admission.

Accountability and successful interpersonal relationships are only the tip of the iceberg, but they have proved to be some of the most important effects that honesty has had on my life. When I am honest about what I think, what I feel, and what I am doing, people can hold me to my word.

I am then accountable for whatever choice I make. Whether the relationships were with my family or friends, I chose to be dishonest for a long time out of fear: fear of judgment, fear of punishment, and fear of the truth. However, when I opened myself up to the unknown, I found that my friendships were more rewarding than before, and that my family and I had more common ground than I thought.

All because I took a step and decided to tell the truth? It sounds impossibly simple, but it is true.

My life used to be filled with deceit, and it kept me in a state of sadness and racing thoughts. I had to remember who I told what lie to, and had to summon the energy to keep my endless scene playing. Since I have decided to implement honesty as a part of my daily life, I have found a sense of freedom that I didn’t know was possible. I have found that friends are supportive and caring, even in the darkest of times, and that I can rely on people to help me.

I don’t have to be ashamed of the past, or of what I see in the mirror, because I know it is only what it is: the truth. I am me: flaws, past, quirks and all. And that is finally good enough.

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Written by

A native New Yorker, Bre loves the California scene and writing for Treatment4Addiction. She has been writing content for T4A for five months, and loves to learn new things, form opinions, and send them out to the world. Her interests include dance, singing, acting, talking with friends, being a daughter, and being the best big sister she can to her 16 year old brother. After attending ASU for a few months, she is interested in taking cosmetology classes and exploring her options. She looks forward to learning all she can, and doing something positive with that knowledge and experience.

Filed under: Addiction, Life, Recovery · Tags: Addiction, family, fear, friends, honesty, racing thoughts, relationships, sadness, sobriety

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