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Addiction Treatment Blog by Addiction Experts » Entries tagged with "needle"

An Addict’s Will to Change

An Addict’s Will to Change

  I had fifteen months clean before I relapsed on May 11, 2011.  My run lasted a little over a year.  I thought I would only use one time so I could escape from the immediate situation and the hell inside my head, but heroin doesn’t work that way – certainly not for me.  One night turned into a year and I still feel like I just woke up from some awful fever dream. The first few … Read entire article »

Filed under: Recovery

Character Defect – Illusory Divinity

  “I am God.  I am my own God.  I am God to others.  I do EVERYTHING with a God-like elegance and effervescence.  I never need any help – I only help others.  I predict the course of events before they unfold.  I have the answers to every question asked- the right answers.”  This was my internal dialogue for eons.  I adopted this way of thinking sometime around the 4th grade.  The most pathetic aspect surrounding this way of thinking: I never perceived myself as being arrogant.  I mistook it as an internal confidence I didn’t want others to know about.  If they knew about it, they would strive to attain it.  If they attained my secret, there would be nothing separating them from me.  I would then become an equal. … Read entire article »

Filed under: Recovery

Metha DONE – Getting Sober

Metha DONE – Getting Sober

  I wake up bright and early, stretch my arms and legs, yawn, and take my phone from my pocket to check the time. It is 8:30.  Perfect.  Just in time to make it to class.  I make an attempt to roll over and reach for the curtain to draw it back and greet another gloomy July morning in San Francisco, only to realize I am not in bed.  Fuck, I’m not even lying down. … Read entire article »

Filed under: Recovery

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