A Way Out – Early Recovery: What to Expect

February 20th, 2008 | Add a Comment

Addicts are quite uncomfortable in their struggle to re-establish some form of physiological and psychological balance without the drug. In short, they may be a lot more obnoxious and intolerable during early recovery than when they were drinking or using drugs.

Don’t feel guilty if you find yourself thinking that you liked the recovering addict much better when he or she was using. Such feelings don’t mean you’re a bad person – they are normal. The drug was the most powerful relationship in the addict’s life. It was the lover you could never compete with. With that relationship gone, all other relationships must now be redefined.

Don’t be surprised if you experience increased fears that your partner or spouse won’t like you now that he or she is sober. These feelings are normal. They are a part of what happened to you and your esteem during the addiction process. They are a part of what must be addressed in your recovery.

The most significant threat to your relationship will be if your partner proceeds with recovery without you being involved in a parallel recovery process. Both of you need people outside the relationship to assist and support you through this readjustment process.

Don’t be surprised when you find yourself sometimes resenting the other person’s personal recovery activities. Such feelings spring from our fears of abandonment and from the myth that we should be able to meet all the needs of our partner. Separate recovery paths must proceed and accompany the recovery and rebuilding of the relationship.

Another common occurrence in early recovery is Post Acute Withdrawals which follow the period of detox or Acute Withdrawals.

PAWS POST-ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS
Difficulty in thinking clearly or remembering things
Difficulty in managing feelings and emotions – heightened startle response
Difficulty in managing stress – irritable, restless, discontent
Difficulty in sleeping restfully and/or difficulty eating properly
Difficulty with physical coordination
PAWS effects three major areas:

Cognitive: Racing or repetitive thoughts are often experienced and tend to be highly distracting by the alcoholic in recovery. Thoughts may be scattered and even incoherent at times. Others may notice a certain rigidity of thinking and lack of required flexibility. Cause and effect reasoning suffers as well in the early stages of recovery making relapse easier. Concentration and attention span may be impaired. Confusion may be present.

Emotional: PAWS tends to create in individuals either a feeling numbness or feeling of being overly emotional. Even small events of little consequence may loom large in his/her mind and create strong and overly valiant reactions. This may lead others to suspect a relapse or create social withdrawal. Feelings of shame may surface. On the other hand, the inability to feel impairs proper emotional bonding with friends and family during the early recovery process. It also impairs the recovery process itself as the individual struggles with trying to feel the resentments, anger, guilt, shame and other emotions common in recovery.

Memory: Memory is frequently the most noted PAWS problem. Recently learned information (within the last 30 minutes) may be quickly forgotten. New skills or routines may be learned and then not assimilated as before the drinking or using began. Information may be retained for a short time (days/weeks) and then lost, requiring the individual to learn it anew. As recovery requires inspection of the past, the individual may discover that developmental and childhood memories are totally absent or only remembered in a spotty fashion.

All of the above PAWS issues can obviously affect the early recovering person. The recognition of this syndrome by the recovering person as well as by friends, family and colleagues is important. The severity of PAWS decreases as time progresses and that PAWS is stress sensitive. Lowering of stress is helpful. Healthy habits such as limiting caffeine, getting 8-10 hours of sleep, eating three balanced meals and exercising three-four times weekly usually prove beneficial. Meditation, or relaxation exercises can be invaluable once properly learned. Obviously AA involvement with a sensitive and experienced sponsor is key to navigating through PAWS. Most individuals find the first six months to be the most PAWS impacted with decreasing severity over the next six-month period. By the end of one year, most persons have returned to their previous levels of functioning.

Donna Markus PhD, Executive Director Malibu Programs, Promises Treatment Center