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My First Sober Trip Back Home for the Holidays


Thanksgiving 2012 was the first time I have been home since leaving for rehab in early January.  Before I left my home in Pittsburgh, PA, about ten-and-a-half months ago my life was in shambles.  I was dying from alcoholism and drug addiction, my family and friends had no hope that I would ever accomplish anything in life, and I was in serious denial that I even had a problem with substances.  That all changed in time when I found— no surprise—that my life was significantly better without drugs or alcohol and that I could actually live a good life not using.

Last month, with more than nine months of sobriety under my belt, I thought things would have changed with my family and friends – but they did not.  My expectations exceeded what actually transpired, but—most importantly—throughout it all I stayed sober.

My family has always been a dysfunctional bunch, with my alcoholism and drug addiction a not-so-insignificant role, but I assumed with me being sober things would have changed.  Unfortunately, they did not.  My parents still argued about pointless topics; my sister, now smoking cigarettes, didn’t change one bit from her usual catastrophic mental state; and the house was even more cluttered than when I left, which always annoyed me.  A disorderly house almost always houses a dysfunctional family.  I came back to a house and a family that I thought had changed but no such realization of my high expectations had transpired.  It was all troubling but I managed to get through it without compromising my sobriety.

My friends have always been the kind of people who party hard, drinking and smoking weed but at the end of it all managing to hold down good jobs and keep up appearances.  Coming home for break, I didn’t expect them to change their behavior with regards to partying, but it seemed like that was the only thing on their minds all break long.

After witnessing all of them using it felt good that I didn’t have to drink or drug to have a good time.  They showed me how ridiculous my life was when using was the only thing that seemed to bring happiness into my life (distraction was what it actually provided, as well as the miseries the day after brings).  I had a great time being my sober-self around them while they all drank and smoked in front of me.  I would not advise doing that but I felt I was strong enough in my program that I could do that.

All in all, my Thanksgiving break went well.  I saw some disappointing things but I know that I can’t change anyone except for myself.  I am sober today and that’s what matters.


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Filed under: Addiction, Holidays · Tags: Addiction, alcoholism, drinking, Holidays, sobriety, Thanksgiving

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