I had to fly to St. Louis last weekend to present at a conference. My close friends know that I’m not a big fan of flying. Yet I’ve come to realize that it’s a great opportunity to work my 3rd step. Talk about turning my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power! When I step on that plane and they shut the door, I have to have complete trust in HP that everything will be okay….not an easy thing for someone like me who likes to be in charge. The truth is that I’m often not in charge (traffic on the freeway, the value of my 401K, etc) and the more I can stay in the moment and practice acceptance, the more serenity I will have.
I am finding that when I’m the most anxious - like when I’m flying - if I can sit still and breathe and just practice being in the moment, I’m okay. Fear is always future oriented. It’s not the turbulence that’s already happened that I’m afraid of, it’s the turbulence that I’m anxiously anticipating is going to happen that causes me distress. It also helps me to visualize my outcome. For example, on my flight to St. Louis, I kept visualizing a safe and smooth flight, a safe touch down and then meeting my friends at that airport and hugging them. There were a few moments of turbulence where I came back to that visualization and breathed deeply in and out, and it served to calm me down.
Another thing that I’ll often do in moments of difficulty is to offer myself an “open faced heart sandwich”, a technique invented by my teacher, Susan Aaron, who created he method of Psychodramatic Bodywork ®. I place one hand over my heart and the other hand over my bladder (just above my pubic bone) and just breathe. In Chinese medicine, the bladder meridian is connected to fear, so when I place a hand over my bladder, I am offering my body comfort in a time of anxiety. Try it some time - it really works!
I would love to hear some comments about what other calming techniques people use, especially in these challenging times.
I wish you serenity in your life - one day at a time.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for the awesome post! I share your fear of flying and I struggle to cope with it now that I am sober. Your technique is really interesting- I’ve always been interested in Chinese medicine. My method of dealing with the fear of flying? I don’t have one!!
Thanks, Sarita. As I said in my blog, I’ve found that the more I can stay in the moment, and in my body, through breathing and grounding, the easier it gets. I still have fear when I get on a plane, but it’s getting a bit easier each time I do it. I hope the same will be true for you. Take care, Jean