Addiction Treatment Blog by Addiction Experts » Author - Marisa
Fear of Success
What if all of your wildest dreams came true? What if your intentions, hopes, desires, fantasies became reality…would you really want it? I am pretty certain that at this point most people reading this are saying “YEAH”…”what are you crazy?” Truth be told, it has been said that most therapists and psychologists are a bit crazy. However, I believe, the greatest challenge that most people face, in one arena of their life or another, is the fear of success. Success changes people. It changes the way that one interacts with them and the ways in which they interact with others. Ostensibly, we want to fight this fact, but most of us have examples of how various forms of conventional (or unconventional success) has altered our relationships and inevitably us. At times, … Read entire article »
Filed under: Treatment
The Trauma Under It All
After years of doing individual therapy and running several groups at various treatment facilities, I have learned a few things. (1) Most alcoholics and addicts are saturated with shame, guilt, and fear (2) Alcoholism/addiction destroys an individual, their life, and the lives of the people around them (3) Most alcoholics and addicts have endured some type of trauma in their life. The trauma underlies it all! The trauma often creates feelings of shame, guilt, remorse, despair, and fear, which inevitably lend to more use, which results in greater destruction. Neurologically, human response to fear derives from the limbic region of their brain, which is the most primitive region of our brain-“fight or flight.” When an individual endures a trauma (i.e. abuse, abandonment, loss, violence, even divorce), especially at a young age, … Read entire article »
Filed under: Treatment
Convincing Your Heart or Your Brain?!
I had an interesting reply to a blog that had me pondering the very essence of their statement. In response to my blog on Dating vs. Relationships: The Addiction, one person commented that it “sounds like you need to convince your heart, not your brain.” I am very interested to know what other people think. Is it as simple to say that if we can convince our hearts that we will be able to be healthy, successful relationships? My knowledge and experience informs me that it is a bit more complicated than merely being able to convince one or the other. Many addicts/alcoholics have a history of trauma that results in a “broken heart” or even worse, a brain that is “damaged” (read the next blog on The Trauma Under It … Read entire article »
Filed under: Life
Anorexia: The Signs and Effects
What is the price of perfection? With the rate of eating disorders on the rise and it having the highest mortality rate, what is the price? The younger the patient, the more susceptible they are to deprivation given the fact that their bodies are still developing. The most common effects tend to be one’s hair thinning and becoming dry and brittle as a result of protein deficiencies, a GI tract that has slowed down, that leaves one with a feeling of cessation because of an exacerbated sense of fullness and constipation, and skin that dries out, becomes bruised easily, and increased hair growth as a means of the body creating an outer layer of insulation. However, the more dramatic effects include hormone disruption, muscle atrophy, organ failure, and disruption in … Read entire article »
Filed under: Conditions and Disorders
Through The Looking Glass: A Look At Eating Disorders
Do you remember going to a carnival or fair when you were a kid and walking through the fun house? The fun house consisted of hundreds of mirrors that altered the way that we saw ourselves…we used to find it so funny and entertaining. Now, most women and some men have a permanent fun house existing within their head, no longer being able to see the humor or entertainment, just the sorrow, imprisonment, and destruction of their altered perception. Thin is never thin enough and beauty/perfection is an ideal that one can never quite attain. How can one ever be satisfied with their looks when media lauds anorexia and drug addiction and plastic surgery is commonplace? Thousands of people are dying to be thin. They sometimes take up drug addiction to … Read entire article »
Filed under: Conditions and Disorders
Dating vs. Relationships: The Addiction
The question frequently posed to me as to why it is that some people are perpetual daters and others are serial “relationship-ists (a new word coined by yours truly).” Usually, it comes down to gender-men are more likely to be serial daters, whereas women tend to constantly be in a relationship. I believe that it comes down to one common denominator…the addiction to fear. It is always about one running from that which they fear the most, don’t you think? Let us look at the fear that drives the “relationship-ists”-the fear of being alone, which is about a fear of intimacy. The “relationship-ists” are constantly running from themselves and from ever having to feel any pain. Quite frequently they may be known as (hold your breath) “Co-Dependents.” I am sure that … Read entire article »
Filed under: Addiction
Co-Dependency…The Alcoholic/Addict or the Partner?!?
Frequently, upon getting sober the source of one’s trials and tribulations are their relationships. The guilt, resentment, and need can be so overwhelming for the individual or their partner (albeit friend, spouse, lover, sponsor) that the discord and/or unfulfilled needs/expectations lend to relapse. Alcoholics and addicts are accustomed to relationships that are chaotic, dysfunctional, and one-sided. So, how do you know when you are in an unhealthy or co-dependent relationship? How do you know if you are the source of the dependency and/or problems? There are a plethora of definitions regarding co-dependency and vagaries over coming up with a concise definition. The best-synthesized definition that I have heard is “self-sacrifice.” The idea that we as people, sacrifice our own well-being and happiness to ensure that another is happy, fulfilled, and well, … Read entire article »
Filed under: Addiction
Friends… Too Friendly?
Are men and women able to be friends without ever having false intentions? This question, inspired by an interesting dialogue that took place within a group I run, is the base of my first blog for this website. Inevitably, it was posed by a guy who wanted more than just a friendship from a girl. Shocking, isn’t it? I’d bet you’ve never found yourself in a situation like this… Anyway, she was dumbfounded – how he could misinterpret her feelings? That, again, never happens. But what really got her was the fact that he couldn’t respect her boundaries and the reasons behind it. I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely found it difficult to be friends of the opposite sex, especially those I have found attractive. I have either … Read entire article »
Filed under: Love and Relationships
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