Top Ten Reasons NOT To Do Meth

Many of us have already seen the before and after photos of meth users.  Such shots usually show a relatively rough and unattractive person whose meth binge puts them even farther up the ladder of uggo. But what about those of you who actually have still have their good looks to lose?  What’s keeping the fair skin and bright eyes away from the dangers of speeding too fast? For such fortunate folks I’ve concocted the ten top reasons why good looking people might want to think twice before beginning to use crystal meth.  With no further ado I will begin with the last reason – the one you’re probably thinking of as you read these words.

10)  Meth Mouth:  Having a tooth fall out can be a major no-no, especially when you’re out on the town, hitting up the clubs and going to hear your favorite DJ get down on the 1’s and 2’s.Your shiny smile will be substantially tarnished, and those sultry lipswill lose their luster when the teeth beneath are yellow-green and fungus covered.

9)  Double Life:  As Cal State San Bernadino Professor Stephen Kinzey[1] proved recently, the perils of meth can often include leading a double life; in his case that of a tenured professor at Cal, as well as being head of a chapter of meth-dealing bikers.  Your looks won’t last long if you’re locked up, patiently waiting for the guards to pass out combs and crappy razors.  Being behind bars on drug charges is definitely a no-go for the jet set.

8)  If Your Looks Are All You’ve Got:  Since you’re America’s Next-Next Top Model and can’t seem to find the hours in the day for all the photo shoots and tiring interviews you turned to the extra energy provided by: meth.  Bad choice.  Methamphetamines are the antidote to all your youthful glamour and no matter how you go about getting the ‘glass’ into your body the end result is the same – you will look five years older in approximately six months.  Maybe not so glamorous after all.

7)  A Roof Over Your Head:  Other than the previously mentioned ways of losing your looks and your freedom the real possibility of blowing yourself sky high comes into the picture when you decide your local dealer doesn’t have enough quality meth, and plan on cooking your own.  You’ll be losing a lot more than your good looks when the floor pulls a levitation act and the basement’s declared a Hazardous Waste Site.  Like – totally ewwww.

6)  The Jenny Crack Diet:  So you thought of meth as a means to end your weight problems and you binged on ‘ice’ to purge the pounds.  The problem: it worked a little too well, and your sharpened elbows and ribs are now capable of slicing your friends and family, plus you can’t quite seem to fake the enthusiasm the rest of mankind has for solid foods.  Sorry, the tweak-a-day diet may not have been the best option.

5)  Invisible Attackers:  The legions of paparazzi you’d hoped would be stalking you on your rise to stardom have turned into an army of invisible police, demons, and dwarves.  The vicious descent into outright tweaking leads to paranoia, hallucinations, and raving hysteria.  While at first this might be amusing to your good looking friends, your behavior will start to lose some luster when you dash off down the street yelling about conspiracies and ripping out your expensive hairdo.

4)  Abscesses aren’t the best Accessories:  In case you didn’t realize it at first – habitual use of meth often leads to obsessive picking at the face and dryness of mouth and skin.  When you’ve picked off half the surface area of your upper body and are left looking like an extra on AMC’s “Walking Dead,” you may have done your looks some permanent harm.  If so, congratulations, you no longer qualify yourself as good looking and can probably stop reading this article.

3)  Sad People Aren’t as Pretty:  Although the effects of amphetamines include euphoria and increased energy,[2] the corresponding crash is going to make you look like a slack jawed monster.  And the statistics are startling, up to thirty days after stopping use of meth the onset of depression can begin, and persevere for much longer than that.  Your friends will certainly not find you as fabulous when you can’t even get off the couch, and spend most of your day sittingand crying for no apparent reason.

2)  Diseases and Other Grossness:  In Hollywood, it’s referred to as the “It-Factor” and you might have thought you had that magical combination needed to achieve your dreams of stardom – but then you began the steep decline brought on byspeed.  Now you have hepatitis, severe acne scarring, and the breath of a dying dragon – what industry professionals call the “Ick factor”.

1)  C’mon it’s Meth People:  Once you’ve begun using a substance as highly addictive as methamphetamines over a long period of time then the ability to stop becomes impaired.  That’s why the top reason a good looking person (such as yourself) shouldn’t use meth is that the stuff is addictive, damaging, and just plain scary.  If you’re sitting here reading this list then you know some of the top reasons why, andjust maybe you’ve beengiven a valuable lesson in keeping those good looks going for quite a while longer.

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