Spiritual Level Eagle

January 18th, 2012 | Add a Comment

Attaining and maintaining spirituality is one of the most important aspects of ones recovery. Ever talk to someone and think, dang… he/she is spiritual as shit! That’s tasty. It is common for people to look up to others as a goal for their spirituality. Some people want to be spiritual like their sponsor. Some people want to be spiritual like Gandhi. Some people want to be spiritual like Hannah Montana. I don’t like to choose human beings as my gauge of spiritual attainment. I want to be spiritual like the most majestic and epic creature on earth… The Eagle. Why do I want to be spiritual level eagle, you ask? Well aside from the fact that I am super patriotic (obviously), eagles are spiritual as ever and sober as hell. Here is a list of some spiritual facts about the eagle that will blow your brain and definitely help your recovery:

Eagles live in trees 75 feet or higher by the sea in nests that can weigh up to 200 pounds. What?! That is spiritual business, man! Do you know how sober you would have to be to live in a tree 75 feet or higher AND build a nest that weighs over 200 pounds? Ultra sober. I had a hard time making my bed when I was using. My bed sheets and comforter couldn’t weigh more than 2 pounds.

Eagles have great eyesight that helps them see one to one and a half miles away. Sweet mother of spiritual Moses! That is the most spiritual set of eyeballs I have ever heard of! I run out of breath driving one and half miles. You think an eagle can see that far after some Jager bombs? No way.

Eagles mate for life! I’m having a hard time typing this because I am shaking with spiritual awesomeness. That means even when the eagles are senior citizens they are still rocking, without performance enhancers. Who needs drugs with major league skills like that? That is spiritual!

Eagles are also called American eagles, fishing eagles, Washington eagles and white-headed eagles. That means an eagle writes “A.K.A.” four times when writing a letter… if they had to, but they never have to because the only thing they would say in a letter is, “I’m the most spiritual mofo you’ve ever seen!” Puff Daddy doesn’t even have that many aliases.

Eagles fly up to 30mph and when they see food below they dive up to 100mph. You know what that means? They coast around and enjoy their life at a mellow ass 30mph thinking about how spiritually savage they are then all the sudden, “Oh what? Is that a lil’ tasty fish right there, my dude?”…and bam! They dive 100mph. They need to change OMG to OMSG for this crazy ass eagle for “oh my spiritual God.” In recovery its important to enjoy your, and soak in the beauty of life, but when opportunity arises you need to act fast like the spiritual God-like creature, the eagle.

Eagles have a wingspan of 5.5 to 7.5 feet. Holy mother of wingspan that is spiritual! Do you think God would hook up a wingspan like that to some unspiritual drug addict who is active in addiction? No. If I had a wingspan like that and was asked to speak at a meeting I would just open up my big ass awesome eagle wings and stand there silent for 30 minutes and people would weep at the amount of spirituality that entered their soul.

One day I will attain spiritual level eagle and I will soar through this world with my recovery in tact and an amazing wingspan.