So it’s Valentine’s Day today. Here are some facts about me you should know: I am single and I’m sober. Trying to figure out what to do on Valentine’s Day to get out of my bitterness. Let’s be honest, people who hate Valentine’s Day are usually single. Just like most people who hate Christmas are Jews (I can say that, I’m Jewish. Google the rules). If you are dating someone, you don’t hate Valentine’s Day. If you have a Christmas tree and Santa loves you, you don’t hate Christmas. Here is a list of things you can do on Valentine’s Day when you’re sober and single.
- Go to a meeting. I know this is what your sponsor would say and you would get mad, but your sponsor loves you- accept the love. Embrace it.
- Get together with some friends and eat pizza until you hate yourself. I know this sounds counter-productive to feeling good on Valentine’s Day, but instead of thinking about how single you are you will be busy hating the amount of cheesy grease that is percolating through your veins.
- Club a baby seal. Just kidding… don’t do that. Save that one for Halloween. Nothing says Trick or Treat like a baby seal costume! So warm.
- Go on to your ex’s Facebook page and write hateful comments, but don’t actually post them.
- Get together with some sober single friends and just hang out like it’s not Valentine’s Day because let’s be honest, Valentine’s Day is lame… I want a Christmas tree.