When I was a kid I was obsessed with Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. Bloodsport, Kickboxer, and Lionheart were staples in my childhood. These movies all had a common theme: something traumatic would happen in Van Damme’s life and he would go away and have a martial arts guru “show him the ways.” He then would come back with a vengeance and kick some major ass. I loved it. I wanted that to happen to me. I wanted a wise and hardcore Asian man (were usually Asian in these movies) to make me serve him tea blindfolded and hit me with bamboo sticks to make me stronger. Is that weird? I think not. It’s patriotic is what it is.
This idea even carried over in my sobriety. When I first entered recovery I refused to utilize what was around me for help. I wanted to be different. I had this plan to teach English abroad in Korea. I signed up and was accepted. This was my plan: I would find an old martial arts teacher to teach me the “ways.” I would then come back from Korea (probably shirtless) and people would be amazed at my spiritual awesomeness. And if that didn’t work out while I was there I was just going to party. I didn’t end up going to Korea because I started getting high.
After my relapse I decided to try something “wild”… AA. I decided that doing things my own haven’t been working so I may do what was suggested to me. Through AA I have found a badass support team that wants me to do life better and better. I came to a realization: this is exactly what I was looking for when I was a kid. All I really wanted was to be surrounded by people that I connected with and helped me become spiritually awesome. None of them beat me with bamboo sticks, but I’m sure if I ask they will. In the Jean-Claude Van Damme movies he would come back and seek vengeance and order was restored. Now I haven’t had a moment in sobriety where I had to step in the ring with Chong Li (bad guy in Bloodsport) to show what I’ve learned; however, in recovery the way I restore order from those who have helped me is to help others. One day though, I would like to get in a fight with Chong Li and have to do it with a temporary loss of vision.
Filed under: Addiction, Alcohol and Drugs, Recovery, Spirituality, Treatment · Tags: 12 step meetings, Addiction, Addiction Treatment, alcohol treatment, Alcoholics Anonymous, Drug Abuse, drug addiction, drug rehab, drug treatment