With four months of sobriety under my belt and half of the Twelve Steps of A.A. completed there is an area of my ongoing program that I need to work on: my daily prayer and meditation. Almost every person I have talked to that is in A.A. working a consistent program says that prayer and meditation every day can be one of the most useful tools to overcome anything they are struggling with. The 11th Step from the Big Book reads, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying ONLY for knowledge for His will for us and the power to carry that out.” I am not on step eleven yet but that really doesn’t matter. Anyone can pray. In the past, as a child, I prayed for things that I wanted or things that I needed to see change in my life. I call that a “selfish prayer.” Through my sponsor’s advice I would pray for other people, not just myself and my needs. I only did this once or twice but in the morning when I woke up I felt so much better. It gave me a sense of peace of mind that I never had before; like a huge weight had been lifted off me. Just getting back that motivation to improve my sense of relaxation is a hard thing for me to do. I know that it helps in so many ways; I just have to get to that point where I can consciously do it every day.
I have used meditation many times in the past to help with feelings of anxiety, depression, etc….but again I have been stubborn about the process. Many times I question how sitting alone for a couple minutes could help in any way but I’ve seen it works for me and countless others. Again, I have to put my hands up and go with the idea that it very well may help with all the feelings and emotions flying through my head at that moment.
After hearing some of my sponsor’s many stories about his angry outbursts and restlessness, he confided in me that that the only way to settle his nerves is to pray and meditate as he wakes up in the morning and right before he goes to sleep and if need be, throughout his day. This man who has helped me greatly with the steps and is truly a friend of mine inspires me to become what he is now: a thoughtful, kind, compassionate, and loving human being, all through prayer and meditation. I want what he and many other alcoholics have and if that means taking time out of my day, no matter how much time that is to better myself and build my relationship with God, I will do it.
Filed under: Addiction, Recovery · Tags: 11 step, 12 step program, 12-steps, AA, Addiction, alcoholics, anonymous, anxiety, big book, depression, emotions, God, meditation, pray, Prayer, Prayer and Meditation, program, sober, sobriety, sponsor, Treatment, twelve step program, twelve steps