A very nice, intelligent yet baffled person was complaining to me the other day that they do not have the job they want. They are waiting for it and working toward it, but it is not there. They told me they don’t understand why this is happening. They have asked the universe, imagined it in their mind, and worked hard to attain what they wanted. They were telling me their parents always expected them to do a certain job, be married, by 27, their significant other has feelings about how they should be living their life, and how responsible this person felt for managing how she handles all of them individually.  I realized something very important. It was something possibly life changing for them and for me. It took me right back to a dream I had the night before. I was life coaching my father. This was strange because he would have never agreed to life coaching and I was saying some pretty challenging things to him. Something that stuck out to me was w ... Read More »

   Change is something that is always happening with you, outside of you, around you and most importantly, inside of you.  Change is the one of the only things that is constant.  Since the beginning of time, we as human beings have always adapted to the changing conditions around us.  Seasons, food supply, environment, weather, battles etc…   This is an amazing example of Darwinism at its finest.  Our ability to evolve, grow and yes, change.

   What has been interesting is that we see and notice changes all around us.  Gas prices, someone else’s mood, how different some one looks, what another has done with their make-up, hair, clothes etc…    What may be overlooked are the changes happening with in ourselves.  You are changing every minute of every day.  Look back 6 months ago.  Do you see any growth from the way you might handle a situation?  The way that you deal with some ... Read More »

     There are four children in my family of origin. I am the youngest of the four. My eldest brother turned out to be a “normie” but not for a lack of effort…he at one time was no angel. However, it turns out the three remaining siblings are the addicts and alcoholics in the family. I’ll put my own addiction and subsequent recovery aside today because it is my siblings, the middle children, who weigh heavily on my mind these days. Most recently, I’m sick about my sister-the last of us to reach the chronic stages of this disease.

     I can’t continue without mention of the second eldest brother in my family, who died of his disease five years ago in July. His was a struggle of lengthy and torturous proportions that culminated with his death sitting on the mausoleum steps in the cemetery near my parent’s home. He was an alcoholic from childhood and his entire adult life was spent as an alcoho ... Read More »

In high school, I gauged myself by comparing to others wondering “am I… as smart as everyone in my class?”  “Am I… as tall as that guy, as mean as that one, as vibrant and energetic as she is?  The list went on as the search continued to define myself.

The am I question, in and of itself, is a really dangerous one.  It can make your day as sunny as you have ever noticed it to be, or as dark as a stormy Seattle afternoon.  It almost seems as if the statement itself begs for permission. 

Have you ever asked another or yourself, am I ______?

The most common widespread question that I hear as a life coach is an underlying question of self…Am I enough?

So many times in my life, I have not felt that I am enough.  Even more, I couldn’t even tell you what enough was.  I had an idea, “oh if only this happened, then I would feel good enough.”  Th ... Read More »

When I share about how I lost my nursing license I almost don’t know where to begin. Thinking about how far I’ve come since, I suddenly find the words. I won’t tell my whole story…I’ll save that for another entry.   This September will mark the end of five years of state regulated probation of my license to practice nursing. Oh-What a five years it has been. In 1998 I was stealing opiates from the drug dispensing machine (yes...they exist) at the hospital. Believe it or not-this went on for years undiscovered. I was caught and reported to the state for diversion of narcotics and my license was put on probation.   While on probation I found another job and although I never wanted to do IV dilaudid again-I was still using cocaine and alcohol. The only problem…random urine screens.            After about two years and two bouts with kidney failure I tested positive seve ... Read More »

What if all of your wildest dreams came true? What if your intentions, hopes, desires, fantasies became reality…would you really want it? I am pretty certain that at this point most people reading this are saying “YEAH”…”what are you crazy?” Truth be told, it has been said that most therapists and psychologists are a bit crazy.

However, I believe, the greatest challenge that most people face, in one arena of their life or another, is the fear of success. Success changes people. It changes the way that one interacts with them and the ways in which they interact with others. Ostensibly, we want to fight this fact, but most of us have examples of how various forms of conventional (or unconventional success) has altered our relationships and inevitably us. At times, this change has been for our betterment, other times it has come to the hindrance of our values, our relationships, and ourselves.

What does success really mean? What does it really affect? What really changes? The answer to the ... Read More »

In the spirit of Treatment4Addiction, it is time to share my experience with treatment!

Treatment was, plain and simple, the best thing that ever happened to me. I never could be where I am at today- happy, useful and peaceful, had it not been for my experience in treatment. It was more than just not using drugs and alcohol that led me to this new happiness. It was about getting the tools that I needed to live a happy, sober life (I didn’t know it was possible!)

Before entering treatment I had gotten myself into a rut that I could not get myself out of. My opiate use had reached what seemed like the point of no return. I went through multiple detoxes, each time vowing that this time I was done for good. Again and again I found myself in the same position: I knew I would screw my life up if I took that first drug and I would take it anyways. I knew the right path but I still kept taking the wrong one.

I found myself unable to stop on my own. I was a paranoid, ... Read More »

We are our own first and last client... Read More »

There are no mistakes, only opportunities.... Read More »

You might think I’m a really sick guy, but I love hearing people tell the story of their bottom. "…and that’s when I really hit my bottom.”--This line punctuates all kinds of hilarious stories of depravity, horror and disgust.

Important disclaimer here: I approach life and recovery with a much-needed sense of humor. I’m not here to weep and moan about the terrible life of an addict/alcoholic. Fun and lightheartedness are a part of my spiritual wellbeing. That being said- I don’t love hearing about bottoms because I get sadistic pleasure out of the worst of other peoples’ suffering. I love hearing about them because they serve as such wonderful little tools for my sobriety- they remind me of the power of the disease- and the kind of places that addicts inevitably end up if they drink or use.

I would like to share some of these stories with you, but I don’t feel like it would be right to repeat peoples'' stories, and I’m also pr ... Read More »